We all know the story: Black women can’t find Black husbands, the divorce rate is astronomical, marriage is for white people, etc. The studies have proven that the Black family infrastructure is failing, and that Black women are sustaining the brunt of that failure. But there’s one woman who is trying to prove the studies wrong: Neenah Pickett.
She is the 43 year-old founder of 52weeks2findhim.com, a personal dating site she created to find The One in one year. I read about her in Essence, in which the question was posed: Is this lady desperate or what?
Her idea is actually very smart. Many singles of various ages use the Internet, sites such as eHarmony and Match.com to find mates, so Neenah’s tactics shouldn’t be so surprising. I think the surprising, or perhaps off-putting aspect of her quest is that she’s looking to find THE ONE. As in her soulmate, life partner, right-hand, do-right, ride-or-die man. Could she find Him? Yes, she certainly could (She still has 20-odd weeks). But how likely is it that through self-advertisement, the perfect man will appear? And with such a time-constraint?
Although Neenah is taking the year to find her dream man, she is not operating a la The Bachelorette, i.e., she won’t just pick someone after a year’s time. She also says that if she does not find Mr. Right by December 31, 2009, she will take a 52-week break from dating.
I hope Neenah finds a partner, just as I hope we all find partners when we are ready. But with the world watching, the clock ticking, and the pressure on, she must be operating differently than she would be if she were doing this without a website, or if she were 15 years younger. There has to be some note of desperation in her voice, some feel of it in her step as she goes to meet each new, possibly-The-One man. We all feel this when meeting someone new. But not all of us are in the public spotlight, and not all of us are 43. She is smart to be proactive in finding companionship and love. I just wonder if she’s scared, like many of us are, of living life alone.